A Goodbye to Khairy

Another light has gone out in Everleigh's marquee.  Khairy Toma was part of the group long before I came here.  He was always present at breakfast with his wife, Afaf.  They were both part of our community.

Let me tell you more about Khairy.  When I was a kid, my brother got a chemistry set for Christmas.  We were excited about it.
However, it didn't turn out to be as interesting as we thought it would be. Chemistry was not something to play with. As I grew older, I recognized it as a difficult subject.  You couldn't just go into a lab and mix stuff up and we what happens.  For me, it was a science subject to be avoided in school.  Biology was much more my speed. Khairy Toma not only studied and knew chemistry, but he was a chemical engineer!  He learned it in English which was his second language!

Khairy and Afaf are from Iraq.  They made their way to the U.S. and adjusted to living here and learning English. Just that would be a major accomplishment for most people.  

Unfortunately, Khairy suffered from dementia later in life.   It made a difference in how he could interact with others.  However, he was always affable and had a smile and a few good words to anybody who connected with him.  I remember his birthdays.  His enjoyment was so obvious, and I loved to keep reminding him for days afterward that he had just had a birthday.  His smile was always contagious.

Because of his disability he was very dependent on Afaf.  He always needed to know she was not far away, or he was insecure.  Life was not easy for either one of them.  However, they managed beautifully. Afar's patience was without limits.  Now that he is gone, we miss his smiling face with that mischievous twinkle.  

We miss him but I hope somewhere he is at peace.  We want nothing but comfort for Afaf as she goes through a very difficult time.