Yes! She Always Returns to Us!

 Okay! So I am back. There is nothing you can do about it. I come and go as I please. I hear you guys at Everleigh have been having some problems. Let's see if I can sort them out.

Dear Bambi,

Where are you? I really need your advice. Although I live at Everleigh, my daughter-in-law thinks I should still do Thanksgiving. Really? In my apartment? There is me, my son and daughter-in-law and their three teen agers. That is six people and I have a one bedroom. I do not even have a table we can all sit at. Time is running out and I do not know what to do!!!!! Help!!!

Beverly

Dear Beverly,

That is some daughter-in-law your son gave you. Maybe you can use the dining room downstairs.  Order from Butternut. Or perhaps if you are really nice you can persuade Stu and Debbie to squeeze you into the dinner they are having in the Great Room. Tell Stu you are a big fan of the Three Stooges. That should work!

However, your best bet is to lure your daughter-in-law into the courtyard. Take a walk by the pool. Hit her over the head and slip her under the pool's cover. She won't be found until late Spring. Tell your son and the kids that the last time you saw her she was getting into an Amazon truck with a particularly handsome driver. There is always an Amazon truck at Everleigh. Problem solved!

Dear Bambi,

I am a single guy here at Everleigh. I've made a few bad moves and I am really in a pickle. There are so many nice looking ladies here that I could not resist. I got involved. Then I got involved again. Yes, I started seeing two ladies! 

At first it was easy. You know when you first start dating here you have to keep it quiet in case things don't work out so nobody is embarrassed when you stop seeing each other. Well! Things worked out really great with both ladies! The problem now is that they both want to go public. Luckily for me they live on different floors and on different sides of the building.

I am sure you can see my problem. They both sit at the Wall of Women so that makes it even worse. My lease still has six months to go so I can't just move out. Help me, please!

Edgar

Dear Edgar,

I could just roll on the floor laughing. What were you thinking? Men are so greedy. There is certainly no hope for you. I suggest you spread a rumor that you are suffering from some debilitating disease. Lock yourself in your apartment. Find some place that delivers food to the door. 

These two women will offer to bring you food and medicine. Others may offer to do the same thing, Do not accept any help because it will only get worse for you. 

Perhaps you can talk to Michele about getting out of your lease early or something. There is no other solution for your stupid dilemma. Admit it, Edgar. You were just greedy and now you are paying a steep price. Shame! 

Well, that's it folks. There are more pleas for advice. I will be back with more answers soon. In the meantime, make sure my dopey cousin Barbara stays out of trouble. And watch out for Edgar!