ONCE AGAIN BAMBI SAVES THE DAY..

You Avenida folks are so needy. I do not know how you survived before I came along.  Well, today is your lucky day because I am here with more excellent advice. Remember, listen to me or you will turn out like my cousin, Barbara. One look at her and you will know what I mean. I hear she is interviewing herself. Her life story is so pathetic you better get out your handkerchiefs!

Dear Bambi,  I live at Avenida and have I got a problem! There is a woman here who is stalking me. No matter where I go she is there. I go to breakfast and I do not see her. Then all of a sudden she's in line next to me. She even selects the same food that I do! Sometimes she actually puts food on my plate! If I go to a gathering in the Great Room she sits with me. If there is no empty seat next to me she sits on the arm of my chair. That is really awkward! When I leave my apartment as soon as I turn the corner there she is. Any activity I sign up for she has signed up for. I do not know how she even knows what I sign up for. Since she is in my proximity she constantly talks to me. I do not respond to her unless she asks a direct question and then I only mumble.  What do I do?
Frederick

Dear Frederick, Boy, do you have a problem. This one really stumped me for a while. I even went to Happy Hour last week and observed you and this woman. There she was, always next to you or near you. I actually could not figure out how this could be happening. It seemed as if others would have noticed the strange behavior on the part of this woman. I even went and talked to the staff. I thought they might have some suggestions as to how to handle your problem without getting the police involved. They gave me all the information I needed. 

I have news for you though, Frederick. There is nothing you can do about this woman without legal action. She is your wife, Frederick.